Thursday, April 11, 2013

Unsponsored post by George Washington.

Alternate title to my URL:
JennBlogsHereSometimes.com

I like to blame other things (read: inanimate objects) for my actions.

"The toaster burnt my bagel!" the fact that I left the room and forgot about said bagel for 5 minutes had nothing to do with burning a bagel.

So, to push the blogblame on something else: THE WEATHER.  boom.

I would go into details about how it's April and it's snowing which is COMPLETELY illegal after spring cleaning (occurred last weekend)...but I won't. You can go to Twitter/Facebook/Insta for your daily dish of complaints.

INSTEAD. I want to talk about something completely UNRELATED to any topic I have discussed before

In a land far far away...

MAINLY because all of my project are sitting in a now FREEZING garage waiting for some love. Snow days are great for strapping myself to a chair sifting through my 50 page thesis for the 5th time (force fake smile), so no, I won't be putting on the snow pants in the name of DIY...this time. And I know if I try to carry the shelving unit I built BACK up the deck stairs, I will fall, it will break, and it will be the stair's fault.

SO, Today's Topic, Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior

Why?!

Because I think we need a little refresher course on how to be polite in the 1500's. A few reasons why: I caught myself getting SUPER angry during traffic (who doesn't), which is something I actively try to avoid and not affect my mood. And second, the language from that era makes me chuckle. So lets take a looksee into how we 'SHOULD' be acting...but are doing the exact opposite.

http://www.anotha.com/f19/rap-lyrics-in-proper-english-t67186/
Mind on my money and my money on my miiiiiiiind (these are rap lyrics mom)

Ahem, back the The Rules:

A sampling of my favorite....


When in Company, put not your Hands to any Part of the Body, not usually Discovered.

via

Caught ya buddy!

If You Cough, Sneeze, Sigh, or Yawn, do it not Loud but Privately; and Speak not in your Yawning, but put Your handkerchief or Hand before your face and turn aside.

A Burp isn't included in this...does that make it legit or were burps not invented in the 1500's?

When you Sit down, Keep your Feet firm and Even, without putting one on the other or Crossing them.

Shift not yourself in the Sight of others nor Gnaw your nails.

Shake not the head, Feet, or Legs roll not the Eyes lift not one eyebrow higher than the other wry not the mouth, and bedew no mans face with your Spittle, by approaching too near him when you Speak.


The only person in history to accomplish these 3 tasks:

 Via

Read no Letters, Books, or Papers in Company but when there is a Necessity for the doing of it you must ask leave: come not near the Books or Writings of Another so as to read them unless desired or give your opinion of them unasked also look not nigh when another is writing a Letter.

Uhh, whoopsie libraries...

via


When you see a Crime punished, you may be inwardly Pleased; but always show Pity to the Suffering Offender.

Via

We all failed at that one...

Do not laugh too loud or too much at any Public Spectacle.


via

Read: Everyone's college years/ still my life.

In visiting the Sick, do not Presently play the Physician if you be not Knowing therein.

This applies to you WebMD!

Eat not in the Streets, nor in the House, out of Season.

So...uh, what if it's raining Georgy? What, you didn't have RAIN?!... or SNOW in April?!

This must have been the diet back then...."Well its August and Raining, can't eat outside, will have to wait until tomorrow" They might say Morrow...idk jk lol brb


Be not immodest in urging your Friends to Discover a Secret.


Via


While you are talking, Point not with your Finger at him of Whom you Discourse nor Approach too near him to whom you talk especially to his face.

Via

Via
Georgy is rolling in his grave each time I watch Real House Wives.

Entertaining any one at the table, it is decent to present him with meat; Undertake not to help others undesired by the Master.

I wonder how a vegetarian would take this one...


via

Also, does this meat have to be cooked?



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This was an unsponsored post by George Washington, all opinions are his, the jokes were mine. We'll go halvsies.



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